Life After Loss

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I am creating this post not as an update but to reveal more about myself. This post is entitled “Life After Loss.” I chose this title because I feel that it’s appropriate for what I’m about to say.
As many of you know the year 2015, in general, was a tough year. I lost my Great Grandmother in July, I lost someone in August, and I unexpectedly lost my cousin Sharva to the Texas Tornado in December. For me that was one loss too many! After the second loss I began to spiral into a depression but the death of Sharva made me feel like I lost ALL control! I started doing things that put my life in danger just to comfort myself. I stayed in my dorm because I didn’t want to do anything or see anyone unless it was Jasmine.
Before I lost my cousin a friend of mine, Jasmine (I call her Jasi), suggested I see one of the councilors at my school since it is free. I hesitated at first because I don’t open up to just anyone but I decided to do it. It may have taken me 10 minutes to walk through the doors but I did.

Once I started seeing my therapist in October I felt some relief but I still had my wall of emotions built high to the sky. It wasn’t until January 2016 when I returned from Winter Break after my cousins funeral that I finally tore down that wall & let out every emotion I’ve felt for 7 months. I cried for the first time in front of my therapist and I didn’t feel bad about it. I finally showed that I was vulnerable.
After that therapy visit I felt a cloud of relief shower over me. One thing that stuck with me from that day was the word CHANGE! Not only did my therapist use the word often during that session but Jasmine had used the word often as well when I talked to her about things.
From that day I decided to make some POSITIVE CHANGES! For starters I continued therapy and I began going to an Expressive Arts Group which helped me determine the emotions I was truly feeling and to determine my deep inner thoughts. I began to go to something called “Pinterest Night” at my school where you can just be creative through ideas on Pinterest. I gave the one thing that I used for comfort to Jasmine because I finally seen the harm I was truly doing to myself. From then on I don’t look at that object the same.

So throughout this process a few words have stuck with me. One of the words is CHANGE! I learned that no matter how many negative changes occur in my life I have to be willing to make some positive changes to match them. STRENGTH; No matter what happens I have to have strength because without it I can and will be easily defeated. VULNERABILITY; Sometimes it’s ok to be vulnerable because it shows the world what you are feeling on the inside. And last but not least SELF; After dramatic experiences you have to take time to yourself so you can rediscover yourself and better yourself.

I can say that it has been a tough road but I’m not going to allow what has happened to affect me. I’m going to continue to better myself because there is always a brighter side to things. There are people who are always there willing to help you better yourself. And there is always joy after every corner if you go searching hard enough!

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

~ John F. Kennedy

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Welcoming June & Updates!

Hello everyone & can we also say WELCOME JUNE 2016! Holy Cookie Monster we’ve made it halfway through the year 2016! Can ya’ll believe it?

Now I know I’ve been a ghost since March but I realized I needed a break from EVERYTHING! After loosing my cousin Sharva in December 2015 (refer to the blog post “An Angel too Soon if you don’t know the story please) and with the stress of college I had to take some time away from blogging and gather myself.

Good thing is it worked!

I continued seeing my councilor at my school which helped a GREAT deal. I also started doing things that I did before such as scrapbooking and realized that art is very soothing to me which made me join an expressive arts group.

During my break I also finished my 4th semester and will be going into my 3rd year of college as a junior Interdisciplinary Studies (Special Education with Core Subjects EC-6) Major with grades that would make you NOT SING BUT sang! Now I am enjoying my summer vacation until August rolls back around.

Ya’ll let me just say that the break did me well! I feel like I can come back and be a better blogger! Now I know I am a Lifestyle (my personal life) & Style blogger but sometimes you have to shut it down, unless it’s for homework, and just say I need time. I can say I took advantage of my time and now I can come back to my blog an be a better blogger for not only myself but for you all. And also I came back for you all and because my cousin of all people LOVED my blog so I have to continue to make her proud!

Outfit of the Day posts will be returning in approximately 2 WEEKS so keep an eye out for those posts through Twitter & Instagram (@EJLChronicles). I will also be using Facebook more and would LOVE for you all to like my page (Erriel J’s Life Chronicle’s). I would LOVE to do a video chat with ya’ll so we can get to know each other better and spread some positivity. And I will hopefully be hosting more Twitter chats so if you want to be apart of the conversation follow me on Twitter. I’m also back on Snapchat so if you’re on snap you can follow me (@ErrielJAriessta) and you can see some of my recorded foolishness haha!

I’m so glad to be back and can’t wait to share more things with you! I love you all and have a wonderful night!

 

Hugs & kisses,

Erriel JD

October~Breast Cancer Awareness

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Well everyone we’ve made it to October 2015!!! Can ya’ll believe we have only 2 months left in this year?
We all know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It’s the month we honor those fighting breast cancer and those who have lost their battle. Yesterday my school held an on campus walk for breast cancer. Luckily Camille & Tiffany walked with me after their class.
I knew for a fact I wanted to participate in the walk for my Granny Virginia but also for one of my favorite teachers, Ms. Jones, and many many more.
My Granny Virginia not only was a survivor but she was also a fighter for many years. My teacher is also a survivor. It’s always amazing to know that every survivor has their own story.
Now you all know that I love ending posts like these with a great quote and I have the PERFECT quote.

“With Gentle Hands & The Heart of a Fighter
I’m a Survivor!”
~Reba Mcentire

Just a Little Girl Talk

If you are a college student you know it may be difficult to just open up to people but once you make friends then it becomes much more easier to just open up.

Now I know I have friends back home in Fort Worth but sometimes you need to have friends that are near to just talk to. Last night was actually pretty fun! After watching the Fantasia Barrino movie, Keviona, Shalisa & I just had some good ole’ girl talk & singing of course because that’s what we do!

I love how with my friends I can just open up and just pour all my feelings out. No matter if I’m in Denton at school or back in Fort Worth I can just open up to the few friends I have and just know that they’re there for me and listening. And I have to admit we’ve all been through some things, especially during the summer, and it’s like we’ve all joined forces. Now I would love my Force to meet each other (as far as other close friends) so we all can get to know each other.

My friends are not only my friends but they are also my family! We not only build each other up but we encourage. We listen. We love & that’s what I’m all about when it comes to family.

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”

— Maya Angelou

College Round 2: My Years Goals

As many of ya’ll know I am a college student at Texas Woman’s University in Denton, Texas. I have recently changed my major from Nutrition Emphasis in Dietetics to Special Education with a minor in education and hopefully a minor in Deaf Education as well.

I have also recently met my new roommate and let me tell ya’ll she is sweet as Pecan Pie!

Academically, I am shooting for all A’s in my classes this year but for right now I am taking it one semester at a time! I am shooting for an A in my developmental math class so I can finally take my college level math class. This semester, and year, I also plan to increase my GPA so I can soon apply for student-teaching so I can one day receive my teaching certificate so I can teach in a Special Education class.

Socially, I am making it a MUST that I get along with my roommate this school year & after meeting her yesterday we are definitely going to get along! She took time out of her day to email me and just say hello and to not be alarmed when I come back. I felt that was an act of not only kindness but of respect.

I feel that this school year for me is going to be different! I am not expecting any drama. I’m expecting to excel academically and I am hoping to gain some financial stability. I am only 2 weeks into school and I am already thrilled about the year!

Hurricane Harbor “Famcation”

 FamcationBusta & MeFamcation 2Vee & LacyJaela Boo & Me

 

I am a tad bit late with this post so bare with me.

Saturday (August 1, 2015) was my families “famcation.” Now before anyone asks a famcation is a family vacation. For use our famcation was to Hurricane Harbor which is located in Arlington, TX so no-one was far at all.

We all met up at Hurricane Harbor and met outside the gates. Firstly lets get the rundown: Parking was $35. The parking attendant allowed everyone to park for FREE!

Secondly, because we were a large group it cost $20 per person but the gate man also allowed us in for FREE!

The last thing may shock you because it damn sure shocked me. As you all know my Great Granny Virginia passed away peacefully 3 weeks ago. To get back into Hurricane Harbor we had to get a word stamped on our arm. The word for that day was GRANNY!

GRANNY STAMP

I can say she was truly with us at Hurricane Harbor that day & trust me she was having fun too!

But all in all that day we all had a BLAST! We all enjoyed the waterpark & afterwards we all sat in the parking lot & had a family picnic with music and pictures! We laughed, talked and had fun which is what our Granny wants.

When’s the next famcation? I don’t know but trust me I cant wait for it!

 

 

Granny Virginia’s Celebration of Life

 

Granny's Obituary (front)                        Granny's Obituary (my blog piece)

Purple Dress

Granny's Resting Place

Granny's Headstone

Yesterday on July 18, 2015, family & friends gathered at our Granny Virginia’s church home to celebrate her amazing long life!

I can say it truly was an amazing celebration! My Granny Virginia attended her church home Paradise Baptist Church of Fort Worth, Texas for over 60 years and with all the family, friends, church members & neighbors we filled EVERY seat in that church including the balcony! One of my cousins put it best: “Sister Haley won her final family & friends day! She will rest peacefully for all of eternity!”

Her casket was light purple and her dress was light pink: her two favorite colors. But viewing my Granny Virginia’s body for the last time before they sealed her in her casket all I could think was “she is STILL beautiful!”

Her obituary also spoke words to me because they were my words! I posted the link to my blog post “The Families Guardian Angel” on my personal Facebook page for all to read. I had family members in tears and it went as far to reach my Granny’s children. My Aunt Ginger (she’s my great aunt) said she my writing was beautiful & she wanted what I said to be in her obituary & wouldn’t have it any other way! Seeing it actually in her obituary (it was tweaked to include all of her grandchildren & great grandchildren) made me feel more than AMAZING!

After her funeral we all lined up & headed to her final resting place for her body at the cemetery. It took a while but we all made it there to lay her at her final resting place.

Our Granny Virginia’ home going celebration was a great one! I wanted to go out but my body felt like Jell-O & my head was spinning so fast I couldn’t think straight from the heat since it was 100* yesterday! Anyway, my family showed up & showed OUT for our Granny yesterday! She left a legacy here on earth & it’s up to us to make sure we continue her legacy on as long as we live. I don’t think she would have wanted it any other way & I know my family is going to continue he legacy on forever!