Dear Santa Claus,
I know I haven’t written a letter to you in a while but I’ve never stopped believing in you!
Now I know you’re going to ask, “Have you been naughty or nice?” And I can honestly say that I have been nice….sometimes. You know I have people who can vouch for me that I’ve actually been nice even when I didn’t necessarily want to! I’ve had my naughty moments but do you really need to know about those? Now if you absolutely must know about my naughty moments…then my name is Elena and I know nothing!
You know you can grade my naughty and nice on a curve. Can you at least curve something unlike my college professors!
Ok now let me get to the good stuff Santa my man! I would love for you to stop by my bank, which is like 6 minutes from my house, and just drop a couple of thousands of dollars in my bank account. You know what instead can you just drop about $10,000 under my Christmas tree and pay off both of my credit cards? I think that will be GREAT!
I also am in need of a snuggly buddy and I don’t mean a teddy bear! I need flesh and bones! Santa have you ever snuggled a pillow? I don’t think you have. You have a while pillow to snuggle called MRS.CLAUS! And if he says “NO” then you can keep him but f you have one that’s husband material then you can send him and make sure you wrap him in a bow please and thank you!
Lastly, Santa I really just need you to take some of the people I know back with you to the North Pole. I need you to take them back with you because I can’t deal with them anymore and if they stay I will be on the naughty list every year. If you need me to I will deliver them to you myself!
Again I know I haven’t wrote you a letter in years but hey what can I say? If you can gift me with this year then you can expect a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies next year!
P.S~ seriously if you take the naughty list into consideration then my name is Elena