I am hoping the title of this post hasn’t thrown a curve ball at you in any form of fashion! If you know me well then you know my “story” and just about everything that has ever happened to me throughout my life and therefore I mustn’t explain any further. This may not be a college life post but it ties into my college experience, my past life, present life, personal life and everything in between! This is one of the most sincere posts I make at this moment.
As a former North Crowley Colorguard member I met so many awesome young people and they became my sisters big and small. But there is one guard member in particular that has known me differently then a “big sister.”
When I first met Miss Halee we were at June camp for “basic training” which consisted of mainly flag work for the new girls joining the team. She was an incoming freshman and I was a junior.
I could tell she needed some assistance with a flag technique along with another guard member so I told myself that I should go help them out because that was my job as an upperclassmen. I helped her and knowing how I am I was just a tad bit tough on her like I am with just about everyone I meet.
From that moment on she called me “Momma.” At first, I was confused and told her, “You know you don’t have to call me momma you can just call me Erriel since that is my name.” But those words went in one ear and out the other because once the school year began she continued to call me momma. I still didn’t understand why she called me momma on the short hand.
Now fast forward to present day (November 19, 2014), I talk to Halee almost everyday and she honestly makes me feel like I am a mother. Although I didn’t give birth to her or “mother” her until I met her in high school, she gives me that feeling on the inside that I am her biological mother. Every time she calls me momma it gives me chills down my spine and makes my heart flutter. She knows that when she needs any type of advice whether it’s relationship advice, school advice or even advice on life I am always here for her.
Now I know what some of you may be thinking, “Erriel J why do you consider yourself a parent to someone who you didn’t nurture or birth?” Well here is my answer: You don’t have to be anyone’s biological mother or father to show them that you love them or care for them. Nurturing someone comes form the heart and since the day I met my daughter I have always nurtured her in ways that I wouldn’t nurture anyone else. I nurture my siblings but I am their big sister I have to lead by example but when someone calls you “mom” it brings a whole new view on what nurturing means. Being a parent is like being in a relationship. You can say I love you so many times BUT when you say “I love you” from the heart your partner knows that your love for them comes form deep down within. Same with parenting. As long as your child knows everything you say and do for them comes form within they know you truly love them.
Halee has often told me, “Momma I can’t wait until the day you can give me a sister or a brother. I know I have sisters and brothers already but one from you would be special.” I won’t be having children for a while but when she said that it made me feel like she was a 4 year old asking “when are you giving me a brother or sister?” haha! I tear up sometime talking to her thinking about my past and when she tells me things that make me feel “older” then 18. What am I to do?
Bottom-line is I love my daughter whether she is mine biologically or not, although she is not, and I will always be here for her no matter the situation. All she has to do is call me and I will come running quick fast and in a hurry! I love being a “parent” and that will never change and the day I birth my own children and bring them into the world I will feel like I have already had a “semi-experience.” My time will come one day and when it does I will be happy to share it with my friends, family and my future husband but most of all I will be thrilled to share it with Miss Halee!
Now I have made my self tear up and have to discover a box of tissue. Thank you all for reading and I hope this post touched your heart as much as Halee has touched mine. So please go and hug your children, tightly, kiss them repeatedly and tell them that you love them over and over again. Enjoy their company and make memories because you never know when it will all come to an end. Love you all dearly.
Momma Erriel J 🙂 ❤